My Child Isn’t Tired at Bedtime: What to Try Before You Move the Clock

You have done the bath, the pyjamas and the teeth, and your child is bright-eyed and chatty. “I’m not tired” is one of the most common bedtime sentences there is, and it is not always a stalling tactic. Sometimes it is true. This guide covers what usually lies behind it and what to try that does not turn into a battle.

Why “not tired” happens

• The bedtime is a little early. If the nap has gone, or has run late, or the day was quiet, your child may genuinely not be ready at the usual time.
• They are overstimulated, not alert. Children who are past their window can look wired rather than sleepy. Running about is not the same as having energy.
• Something is on their mind. Excitement or a small worry about tomorrow can keep a child alert long after their body is ready.
• They want you. Sometimes “not tired” means “I have not had enough of you today”.

Check the day before changing bedtime

Before you move the clock, look at the hours before it. Was there a late nap, a lot of screen time, or an exciting visit after tea? A fairly small change — an earlier wake-up, more outdoor time, a calmer last hour — often does more than shifting bedtime by thirty minutes. Our sleep-by-age guide is a useful reference point, and quiet-time stories after dropping the nap covers the afternoon side of the same problem.

Make lights-out about resting, not sleeping

Pressure to fall asleep tends to make it harder. Many parents find it easier to say, “It is time to lie down and rest; sleep will come when it is ready.” Dim the lights, keep your voice low, and let your child lie there with a story, a soft toy or some quiet breathing. Resting in the dark still counts, and it often turns into sleep sooner than you expect.

Slow stories for a wide-awake child

A busy plot will keep a child up. These stories are about napping, resting and slowing down — choose one and read it slowly, in a quiet voice.

What to avoid

• Adding more activity. A game or another round of tickling tends to wake a child up further.
• Letting the time stretch. A routine that grows by ten minutes each night soon becomes an hour.
• Calling it a failure. A child who lies awake quietly for twenty minutes is still getting rest.

If it keeps happening every night for weeks, it is worth mentioning to your health visitor or paediatrician. For ideas on the wind-down itself, see how to calm a toddler before bed and screen-free bedtime activities, or browse our bedtime stories for more slow picks.